When the going gets tough, the tough go around.

I tried to avoid spending almost of my awake time staring at the computer screen today by doing some housework. The first job I dealt with after having fresh breath was to wash the dishes. It hasn't been an unusual chore to me since I could cook for myself.

I opened the window to start washing, the quiet winter morning was torn by some unidentified low sounds, I suddenly felt the wind blowing on my face through the window, brought along an old feeling that I have had somewhere else in the past. I took a deep breath, but I did it slowly to minimize the negative effect of the cold air on my throat as I have caught a cold for over a week, and tried to recall where I had this feeling previously. I looked purposelessly and insensibly father to broaden space behind the window as an attempt to seek for something unreachable while kept washing, yet nothing found till my sight stopped at a Chinaberry tree without leaves but some dried fruits. It was likely everything around me stopped for awhile when the painting with two contrast pigments black and white took me to place that I used to be. The Chinaberry tree has been there since I could remember things. I don't know if the tree had been there before I was born, but its image clung to my childhood and it is always there whenever I am home washing dishes with the windows open and a bright firmament. I don't like washing dishes, therefore, singing parts of songs I like or looking at something outside in order to have a feeling of getting this such tedious job done quicker. I was not home washing dishes for years. My life "witnesser" looked lonely in the winter. It is hard to perceive whether my "witnesser" is still alive due to all of its trunk and branches are in black strongly contrast with white winter sky background. But I do hope that the tree will be there to help me count the time and bring something back.

Other gusts of cold wind took turn to rush into my face, they didn't wake me up from gazing at the old picture but made me calmer inside. It has been a very long time since my last catching this such moment of life. These moments remind us that we are now living and have been getting older overtime. The image of Chinaberry tree in the winter clearly and truly depicted my soul at that time. Another gust of cold wind, but much colder took me back to the chore. I looked down to the washing sink with awareness of the going gets touch, and the touch go around. The Chinaberry tree is till standing alone outside in a very cold and windy winter. We are dying to live.